Broken

The van door fell off last night. Yep, the door. To the minivan. Right off its hinge.

The six year old cried that we didn’t have a car, and then he transitioned suddenly into “helper” mode and held the light, got his plastic tool box, and offered the wrench.

I tried to push it back on. Kick it back on. (Mustered up a “thanks” for the wrench.) And then I realized defeat and had to wait for my husband to come home and put it back on. He did. And then I made an appointment at the garage. (Fortunately I have the mechanic’s phone number on speed dial, and he is so gracious about emergency 7:30pm phone calls from his daughter-in-law.)

That door was broken.

My daughter came home from swim practice early last night. An ailment that means doctor appointments, perhaps physical therapy. It means her life is not normal for a little while – I don’t know how long. It means time. It means money. It means patience. And it happened during a time that’s already fragile for her. Friendships. School. Math.

She’s broken.

And I want to fix it. The mama in me wants to go in and fix everything. A little because it makes my life easier when her life is easy, but mostly because I hurt when she hurts.

But that’s not how life works. And that’s an intentional thing, as far as God is concerned. (And well, isn’t He concerned with just about – everything?)

If life was easy, I wouldn’t need Him. Or I wouldn’t think I need Him. But in His grace, He allows things to break so that I will remember. And then He gives me faith to believe that He works all things for good.

Yes, for good.

Good in a broken van door? Yes, even in a broken van door.

Good in a bum knee? Yes, especially in a bum knee.

Do I trust Him? Yes, I trust Him. Does she trust Him? She says she does. Can we trust Him together? Yes, in our conversation about how things break, and how I wish I could fix it all for her, and how He gives us faith to trust Him with all of our hearts so He can make our paths straight, she nods her head yes. And a cloud lifts.

The dreaded chiropractic appointment is on Monday. The orthopaedic appointment sometime next week. (And somewhere in there a few days without a car so the door can be fixed.) But the Proverbs 3:5-6 verses are tucked in her lunchbox on a 3×5 card to remind her (us) that He has good plans for us, if only we will trust Him.

And fortunately for us, even the faith to trust Him, comes – from Him.

We are the broken, You are the Healer. Jesus, Redeemer, Mighty to save!

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